When you realize that someone you love is unfaithful, it’s a punch to the gut. Unfortunately, it’s not an especially uncommon punch to the gut; according to one survey, about 20 to 25 percent of men admit cheating on their spouses, while 10 to 15 percent of women admit to the act. The real numbers are likely higher; after all, some people aren’t exactly open about their infidelity.
In a recent Reddit thread, the site’s users shared their experiences with cheaters. We collected a few of the best stories, then cleaned them up for grammar and readability. If you think you’re having a bad day, keep these anecdotes in mind—things could always be worse.
Our first story, for example, is particularly heartbreaking…
Some cheaters seem to target the nicest people.
“[This didn’t happen to] me, but a medical resident who I met on rotation recently,” wrote joppike. “One of the nicest guys I ever met; super intelligent and hardworking, training to be a trauma surgeon, and as humble as they come.”
“He had been married for two years to his wife. One night, he gets off a 30-hour call early and heads home to surprise his wife with some flowers and her favorite dessert—it was the anniversary of the day they first met—only to find her in bed with a random dude.”
“He was so exhausted and confused. He didn’t know what to do, so he just left and went back to the hospital. I saw him at 5 a.m. sitting in the parking lot, hunched over crying. He didn’t even have his phone with him—he was just sitting there.”
“Man, nothing breaks your heart more than seeing a grown man cry. It’s not something you see often. We called his dad, and he came and picked him up. The guy ended up taking a leave from his residency. Turns out, it wasn’t the wife’s first time sleeping around. I hope he gets back on his feet, he will make an amazing physician.”
If there’s one thing we know, it’s this: Smartphones make it harder to get away with cheating.
“I woke up to her on her phone with hearts scrolling [on her phone’s messenger app],” wrote themayflowa. “We were married seven years at that point. Two kids. It was my birthday.”
“I won’t feign total innocence; marriage is hard. I was working while being in school full time so that she could be a stay-at-home mom, which was our goal. She realized she wanted something else and moved on. S*** happens. Roll with the punches.”
Sometimes, it’s not the messages that reveal the infidelity—it’s an app.
“We had a linked Apple account, and we both had the Find My iPhone app,” wrote bidyjingojango. “I figured out what all the late nights at work really were.”
Apparently, that’s not such an odd occurrence.
“I work for a major cell phone carrier, and the amount of times people come in asking to get their Apple ID unlinked because they saw something they didn’t want to see (from a sibling or kid, usually) is honestly hilarious,” added KanadianNinja.
But nothing’s quite as humbling as realizing that your significant other’s unfaithful due to their Pokémon addiction.
“I caught my ex thanks to f****** Pokémon Go, of all things,” wrote OfficeOrnament. “She mentioned that Pokémon Go was using lots of her data. I explained that in her settings, she could see how much data an app was using. I proceeded to show her, and proved to her it wasn’t—by pointing out Tinder was using much more data.”
“It was sad, but also funny the way it went down.”
If someone’s cheating, don’t support them—even if you’re related.
“I was dating this girl a few years back, and I became really good friends with her brother. He appreciated my help during a difficult time for their family,” wrote bboy_samsung. “Their father had abruptly passed away.”
“Two years into the relationship, the brother contacts me and asks to meet up for coffee and a serious conversation. Apparently, he caught his own sister with another guy—a mutual friend of ours—and this had been going on for like a year. As soon as he found out, I was told.”
“I broke up with her. Still friends with her brother. Go figure.”
As Reddit user TerminalParalyze noted, that person’s brother was a really good guy.
“My own sister and mother didn’t tell me when my spouse was cheating me, and they knew,” she wrote. “Of course they knew because he was cheating me with my mother’s best friend.”
“If I ever feel guilty about ditching my family for good, I just have to remember that. The best part: When I confronted my mother, her exact words were, ‘If you are so stupid you can be cheated like that, you deserve to be cheated.’”
Sometimes, the “other person” is totally oblivious.
“Me and my girlfriend were long distance, and she had a habit of going quiet sometimes,” wrote facetaxi. “She’d been texting me for the last few weeks but had made excuses not to come visit.”
“I went to a party that my friend had organized. I met a friend of his who told me the host had a new girlfriend. I was surprised he hadn’t mentioned her, so I asked who she was.”
“This lady I was talking to introduced me to my girlfriend. She’d told everyone that we broke up and had been dating my friend for about a month. She didn’t bother to tell me.”
“I’m with you fellas,” wrote another user. “My ex-fianceé did that s***. Not only did she tell her co-workers that she was single, she would ask me to come visit her at work and take her out for lunch. Then, when she was asked about why her ‘ex’ was around, she’d lie and say that I was stalking her and wouldn’t leave her alone. We lived together.”
“That was when I remembered that ‘her ex wouldn’t stop stalking her’ when we first started dating. That was a sickening epiphany, to realize that she lied at the beginning and made me ‘the other man.’”
“I had thought the worst of this dude, and he didn’t have any more of an idea than I did about what was going on. When he and I had a tense face-off, he just said, ‘One day, she’s going to do this to you.’”
“I thought he was talking [trash], and it turns out, he was looking out for me more than anyone. Then, to find out the woman I loved and lived with was framing me up as a crazed abusive partner…I was sick to my stomach for weeks after that betrayal.”
If you’re living a secret life, try not to appear on the news.
“In the early 2000s, my friend’s husband was deployed to Iraq,” wrote dratlass. “Together, they had a 10-year-old son and a happy marriage.”
“One day while he was deployed, I am at home when another one of our friends calls and screams, ‘Holy s****, turn on the news right now!’”
“I turn it on to watch a human-interest story about a fundraiser at a high school 30 miles away. They’re doing Relay for Life or something, and as a ‘surprise’ to one of the participants, they had her ‘husband’ and father of her two grade-school children do a video call from Iraq. They displayed it on the football stadium Jumbotron.”
“There on our local news is my friend’s husband, telling another woman and [their] two kids how he loves them and he can’t wait to get back home to them. The news eats it up, reporting about what a great guy he is.”
“That night, our group of friends convened and decided how we would tell her. I was nominated, so the next day, I had to sit her down and tell her what we saw. She called the news station, and they were happy to let her come in and watch the story. They were also incredibly apologetic.”
“The story has a somewhat crappy ending, I’m afraid. She called him out on his BS, they started divorce proceedings, and he went on to legally marry the mother of his other kids and mostly ignored his son from the first marriage.”
While that’s awful, at least she’s out of that situation.
“I found out my ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me,” wrote techniicallycurious. “Upon walking into the apartment he shared with his mother and two elementary-aged sisters, the youngest sister asked me, ‘When did you leave?’”
“I asked her, ‘When was I here?’”
“She responded, ‘You were here all night. I could hear you talking to [ex’s name].’”
“I had not been there for two days at that point. I asked him what she was talking about, and he blew bubbles for a few minutes before confessing. Good riddance.”
“Blew bubbles,” by the way, is slang that means having nothing to say, but still talking. We had to look that one up—for a moment, we thought that the guy was literally blowing bubbles.
Some people seem like they’re trying to get caught.
“I met this girl who was working the late shift at a drugstore,” wrote Skkorm. “We’d flirted a few times, eventually exchanged numbers, and started sleeping together.”
“After a few weeks, she invited me to go to this crappy little bar she liked in the north side of the city. We spend the night dancing together and talking to people she knows. Eventually, a guy comes up to me, saying, ‘Great to meet you finally! Congratulations on the engagement!’”
“‘What are you talking about?’ I replied, laughing as I choked on my drink a bit.”
“The guy gives me a quizzical look and says, ‘You’re here with Corrie. It’s Paul, right?’”
“I raised an eyebrow and pointed a thumb to my chest, stating, ‘Nah, man, name’s Kyle.’ We stared at each other, watching each other realize what was playing out on this fateful night.”
“Corrie was engaged to a guy named Paul; I was the other guy. Paul worked out of town for weeks at a time. It was actually interesting how you literally could see the word travel around the small bar, drastically changing the vibe in the room. We left shortly after.”
“She brought me—the guy she was cheating on her fiancé with—to her favourite bar. She brought me to a place full of friends that at least knew her well enough to know she was engaged to a guy named Paul, not Kyle. Messed up stuff. Didn’t see her again after that.”
Here’s one way to lose your five-star Airbnb rating.
“Wife had been texting a lot and was very evasive when I inquired about it, though she smirked when she thought it was making me jealous (yeah, she’s that kind of person),” wrote another user.
“Turns out, she’d left her email logged into my cell phone, so I noticed that she had a weekend Airbnb trip to a place that was a state away (we were living in different states at the time) that seemed to be of the ‘quiet romantic getaway’ type. Total occupancy: Two. Well, I thought that was fairly suspicious.”
“So I monitored her Airbnb page, which was easy since we were friends on Airbnb. I was figuring that the owner might leave a comment about how great she was as a guest, and as it turned out, she did. The review went something like, ‘(wife’s name) and (guy not named me) were wonderful guests,’ and so on.”
“Yeah, so, anyone want to guess what the conditional probability is of that weekend trip involving infidelity? Pretty sure it’s high.”
“Wife apparently panicked, asked Airbnb to remove the review, and altered her name on the site. Finally, having failed to get the review taken down, she deleted her account.”
“I eventually asked her about it during a counseling session, and she had a ready-made defense about how she’d meant to take the trip with another co-worker, but that person’s car broke down so (guy’s name) ended up tagging along since (guy’s name) was that co-worker’s boyfriend. They all stayed there together, but (guy’s name) signed the guestbook, hence a totally honest mistake.”
“In hindsight, I am pretty sure she was not telling the truth. We are not still married.”
Nothing’s worse than catching someone in the act.
“I went home and my husband wasn’t home, which was weird for him at 8 p.m. An hour earlier, he had told me he was going home,” wrote NurseBetty93. “I had a gut feeling. I went to the apartment of one of our female friends—who he claimed was ‘like a sister.’ His truck was there.”
“I knock. No answer. Try the door, and it’s unlocked. I walk into the living room, nobody there. I hear noises in the bedroom. Walk in and, lo and behold, there they are. We tried to make it work over next couple of months, but I couldn’t get past it. I didn’t even want him to touch me. We divorced four years ago.”
While that’s horrible, it pales in comparison to this next story.
“I had been on the road for work,” wrote keiths31. “I was supposed to be gone 10 days but got to go home a day early. I had a friend pick me up at the airport to surprise my wife and two children (2 years and 8 months).”
“I walked in to see my ex and her ‘coffee friend’ snuggling on the couch. With my kids in the same room. I was livid. Of course, she denied everything. We split up weeks later.”
Don’t cheat and borrow clothing at the same time.
“One night, she told me not to come over because she wasn’t feeling well,” thudly wrote. “But then, my sister wanted this hoodie back that she’d borrowed, so I thought I’d stop over with chocolate and a Slurpee. I knocked on her door. She came to the upstairs window with only a blanket wrapped around her and yelled, ‘I thought I told you not to come over!’”
“‘My sister needs her hoodie.’”
“‘Who’s that?’ says some male voice from her bedroom.”
“‘Ah. I see how it is.’”
“‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow,’ she says.”
“‘Probably not. Have a good one.’”
What about the hoodie?
“Yeah, she threw it out the window to me. It was a cold walk home.”
This one’s heartbreaking, but it’s got a great takeaway.
“Things had been a little shaky. I was working a lot and felt sapped when she wanted to go be social with friends, so I often stayed home,” wrote TheRealBrewballs.
“I wanted to do something nice for her for Valentine’s Day, so I sent her friend a text asking if there was something that she may have mentioned she would like to do. As I was waiting on that text, I was in another room; I saw her phone buzz with her friend’s name. The number was below the name, and since I had just sent her a text, I knew they didn’t match.”
“There are very few times my blood has been that cold. I called the number with my phone, and it rang and rang before going to voicemail. Needless to say, it was the other guy.”
“I confronted her about it, and she said she was waiting to leave and had a bag packed in case I found out. She had no intentions of trying to work things out, so a month later, she moved out.”
“I made a decision then that I could be broken up and miserable, or I could choose to be happy and be open to a relationship if it was available. I’ve since remarried and have two beautiful boys with my amazing wife.”
“Regardless of the horror in these stories, there is always the opportunity to be happy. If you’re reading this thread because it happened to you or you just have some morbid curiosity: Choose to be happy. Be the person that you can be proud of, and move on to better things.”