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“I walked face-first into a street light because a cute girl called out my name from the back seat of her friend’s car. It made a ‘bong’ sound.”
"One of my cats stares at the spice rack every night at exactly 8:00. Every night."
"International flight. Abscess on my tailbone. Stuck next to the world's smelliest kid. Headrest TV wasn't working."
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The miracle of birth isn't always drama free.
"Later, he mentioned how he ‘didn't know how I could take those things. ...They're just so damn hard to swallow.’ I almost died laughing. This moron swallowed two Tums whole.”
Oh yeah, did we mention we've got bedbugs? Nothing to worry about. Trust us.
“Don't leave anyone at the altar, please.”

"She had already swallowed a lot of water. I risked my own life, because my weight with hers could have been too much. ...The lady later sued me."
“To this day, when I think about my wedding, I tear up. She ruined it and didn't even feel sorry for it.”
“A patient comes in with abdominal pain. ‘I think it’s my gallbladder,’ they say. Looking over their chart, I see their gallbladder was removed 20 years ago ... I mention this, to which they reply, ‘Yeah, but it grew back.’”
“The night of our rehearsal dinner, she stood up and said that she wanted to say something. We all assumed she was making a toast."
"I, to this day, remain angry that the woman was rewarded for throwing a hissy fit.”

"When the alarm rings, instead of getting up, he will set it to go off at a later time. Maybe 10 minutes, maybe more."
“He thought I would appreciate something he made, and went on about how deep and artistic he was compared to ‘all the other guys.’”
Strange traditions usually have an interesting history behind them—and these international practices are no exception.
A single purchase can have an extraordinary effect on your life. Sometimes, that's a good thing...other times, not so much.
He was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time, so he decided to play a prank...which led to one of the funniest stories we've ever read.

"I had to sit him down ... I told him that he was kind of acting like a [jerk], and maybe he was letting this new look get to his head."
“In the cab, he breaks down. He's broken. I tell him to stop gambling. He says he will win it all back."
“Sleep more than you study, study more than you party, and party as much as you can."
“My own sister and mother didn't tell me when my spouse was cheating me, and they knew. He was cheating me with my mother’s best friend.”
"He sped off, tires screeching, only to have his rear tire hit the curb. His rim got [messed] up really bad, and he couldn't drive it. I laughed at him.”